i was wide awake at four in the morning. my roommate was getting up around then so i though that perhaps i had heard him and that is what had told my brain to begin it's series of massive philosophical and psychological conversations until 7am when i finally gave up and started reading the latest edition of performing songwriter. however, it was not my roommate, because several minutes later i heard his alarm form the next room, and a grunt, and then the shower, etc. the word "privacy" has no use when you are sharing a one bedroom in new york. neither do the words "storage", "spending money", or "house party".

however, the hours of quiet contemplation have brought me to these decisions.

1. the demo will be finished by friday
2. i am going today to staples to decide on the "press kit" folder and apparatus.
3. my new cd is damn good and after listening to numerous new releases last night at barnes and nobles on union square while waiting for alex to get out work so we could get a drink and i could have some cod that i swear tasted like lobster, i really only think it is better than i did the day before.
4. i am going to submit my cd to as many music festivals as i can from now on and go to as many writers’ conferences as i can afford to.
5. it is time to call sallie mae and apologize for the delinquency in my student loan bill payment since november.
6. tomorrow morning i am going to install new lights at dtut and order new sound cables for the open mic.
7. i think that the reason i have not been writing as of late is a combination of things that i really can't change at this point. i have a roommate. i have been trying to finish a cd and a website and a press kit. i am working full time to afford the apartment and the cd and the press kit.
8. i need a new guitar.
9. i am going to tour next summer, and i am going to begin saving for that tour right now.
10. i need to buy groceries.

it is my all time favorite kind of day. partly cloudy with a chance of rain, cool but a little humid. perfect weather for press kit design and house cleaning etc. and perhaps a nap.

i am really excited about the showcase tomorrow. actually i am really excited about a lot of things, hence the lack of sleep i guess.

anyway, have a great saturday or whatever day it is if you are reading this right now.

wish me luck, cause really, talent will get me nowhere.

-amy

well, well, well...after months of dileberation, sam and I have launched the new look for the site. there are still a few things here and there that need some fixin' but for the most part, she lives. pretty f'in exciting for me, i hope you like it too.

on a completely unrelated note...this sunday's showcase is really great and i hope you can come. on the live shows page there is a ton of information about it.

and, for those of you that are wondering when i am going to play again, ( i know it's not hundreds of thousands but hopefully there are some of you out there) the demo is in the works and as soon as the artwork is done, the press kits are going out and then i will start booking for october and november.

finally...there is a lot that i need to get off of my chest , but as i am headed for work in the rain i am reminded of the thought that perhaps on this particular day some higher unidentified power is trying to make the idea of going to work a little more tolerable for me (as i love rain). also, i have a new desk and i put up a ton of pictures.

anyway, i'll write a book tonight. happy monday and i will talk to you soon.

love you
-amy

as i was on my way home today in the subway with monte, (my excellent photographer friend who took a ton of pictures of me today for the cd cover and the web site), my good friend danny kelly happened to be on the same car on his way home. the really cool thing about this random occurence was that i had spent all day yesterday singing one of danny's songs over and over in my head, and it may have been the only thing that kept me from losing my freakin' mind at work.

that's right folks...annual sales retreat...all day saturday and sunday, and don't forget , mandatory bowling!!! now...i am not complaining about work. i like working. i am a hard worker. i have a great work ethic. i even have a sick kind of enjoyment of hard manual labor. but, as i grow older and as "free" time becomes more and more precious to me, the concept of spending eleven days in a row with the people i work with...

i digress for a moment...for the record, i really do like most of the people i work with. there are people that i work with that i hope i know and remain friends with for a very long time. in fact, i really like people in general. unfortunately, however, there are some really miserable people in this world (and more specifically in my office) and i feel sorry for them that they are so unhappy and lost and complacent. moreover, i really pity those people that spend their whole lives basking in being miserable and will end up looking back on their lives, friendless, and thinking, "what a waste"..life is just too short and relationships are just too precious people. it will never cease to amaze me how people live their lives in anticipation of other people's reactions to them instead of living in anticipation of greatness.

anyway, let it be known that i got three strikes and my score was 123. easily the highest bowling score i have ever had and probably will ever have. i have reached my bowling career plateau.

also, the voyces totally kicked ass last wednesday at their show at the sidewalk and although i was really beat and up way past my bedtime, i am glad i got to see their show. when they get their record deal i am going to beg them to let me open for them on their tour. they are deffinately one of my favorites.

i'm not going to the sidewalk tomorrow night. i am hoping to finish this new site soon and i have things to work on. also , i am entering two songwriting competitions so please keep your fingers crossed because i could win a new guitar and i really need one...well...want one. i confuse those words too often. i need to pay my electric bill. i want to finish my demo and CD and website and go grocery shopping and buy plane tickets to go home for the holidays and get a new guitar and blah, blah, blah.

all in good time.

hopefully soon.

anyway, have a great day and thank you for your patience.

love you.

-amy

this fig is not quite ripe but that isn't stopping me. neither is my desperate need to pay bills and clean my apartment stopping me from writing. it has been quite a long time, and for those of you that check on me and keep up with the quirks of my life, i do apologize. lets see, when we left off there were polish construction workers on my apartment...

long story short (as i am listening to the album vertigo by my favorite all time band jump little children and sitting in my fully restored apartment with all of the windows open on a beautiful monday night)...the fantastic construction workers cut my road runner cable line so i was without access at home for some time, i have finished recording my album, i bought a VCR, the new amyhills.com will be going live very soon with music and pictures, i had an incredible weekend, i saw some really great music at the antifolk festival, i did not buy kitchen chairs, my basil plant is doing very well, i have been working on setting realistic goals for myself both in my career and in my personal life, and i went out to lunch with my sister.

in short, life is pretty good. i don't have any shows booked but will be doing that soon. i am trying to get this cd sent out to industry people and finish a new press kit and work on new tunes and finish the site, so be patient. i am a firm believer that good things come to those who wait.

i, unfortunately, am not so good at the waiting part myself, but i am trying. i really am.

as a side note...for those of you who have never taken a risk or changed your career or believed in your heart that something will just work even though you have no proof...i really feel sorry for you. and i say that because although i am terrified that people may not like this cd and that there may be no response at all, i know that i am growing as an individual while so many people with so much potential just sit on their ass and let life pass them by. i mean, what do i have to lose? also, for those of you who are out there passivly reading this and thinking "she isn't talking to me or about me" get a freakin clue.

i only bring this up because i want people that do not know how hard it is to try and make it in the music world at any age to know that it equates to nothing. there is no simular quest in the world. none. and when i get up on a stage and sing material that i have written, no matter how calm and collected i may look, it is hard as hell. and sure, i left graduate school at yale and moved to new york so that i could work full time to pay rent on an apartment that i basically use to sleep in and i am not getting any younger and i am in debt up to my ears, but as hard as all of this is, damn it, i am persuing a dream instead of sitting on it and waiting for it to just go away or be forgotten about.

so before you ask me questions or criticize me, or anyone, for that matter, who is trying to do something that may not seem "responsible" to you, think about your life for a second and ask youself what you are doing that is fulfilling in any way.(and sex does not count.)
and then, try to imagine standing naked in front of a bunch of strangers and think of all of the things that people would say and all of the things that you would want to change about your body and instead of changing your body change your thought processes.

as a final note, because i am really a positive person, i just want to let anyone who has been coming to the wed. open mic that i really, really enjoy my wednesdays, moslty because i love seeing other people get up and pour their freakin' hearts out. some of you don't. some of you are still a little reserved or shy or even heartless, and that is ok too. but i really do have a great time. so thank you. thank you for playing and thank you for writing and thank you for taking a risk.

have a great week, i hope you enjoyed your labor day weekend, and the rain, and the parade, and i hope that you are reading a good book, and buying good music and i hope you are eating well and loving well.

unfortunately, i love most of you, and food, way too much and you're killing me.

take care. see you soon.

amy